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Maintaining relationships with your children after separation

View profile for Claire Morgan
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When parents split up the questions about where your children will live and how will each parent get to spend time with them will naturally arise.  It is important to keep your children informed about what you are planning and listen to their opinions too.  

Moving away

Although most parents hope to remain living in the same area so that children may go easily between their two homes, sometimes a parent may choose or may have to move away.

If a move is going to happen, consider how best to make sure that your children will be able to share their growing up with both of their parents. If it is too difficult to discuss this together, think about using a neutral person to help you – perhaps a friend or a family mediator.

Think carefully about how you are going to explain the situation to your children. Children may worry a great deal about what moving away will mean and whether this is happening because of something they have done or said. Reassurance about how they will keep in touch and share their time with each parent will be essential. 

If you are worried about your legal rights as a parent whether you are the parent intending to move or the parent concerned about your child being moved, get some early legal advice. You should ensure that you speak to a specialist family solicitor.

If you are moving away because of harm that has happened within your relationship, it is essential that you get early legal advice and proper support for yourself and your children.

Keeping in contact

For some parents, there may be very real difficulties in maintaining contact with their children for a range of reasons. Supporting your children and keeping in touch will be important to you and for them.

For a child, knowing who both their parents are and being able to spend time with each of them is important to them. If you can’t spend time with your children, keep in touch in whatever way you can.

Contact can be maintained in many ways. If phoning, Skype or email are not options, cards or letters are useful. Try not to be too emotional in your letters. They may also be missing you a great deal too and may feel guilty if they think that you are being made unhappy by not seeing them.

It might seem easier to give up if you are being denied contact with your children.  It isn’t. Nearly all children want to know who their parents are.

If you cannot agree on the arrangements for your children either in relation to contact or where they are to live, contact us today and one of our family specialists can arrange an appointment to see you and talk through the options available to you. 

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